Monday, July 7, 2014

Last few weeks in Korea









Josh will finish his mission on Aug 1, we get the privilege of going to pick him up on July 23 and spending 8 days with him in Seoul. If all goes well, and we are PRAYING it does, we will be able to be there for a baptism. He has only had one other baptism on his mission, that of a cute little 9 year old, so this would be huge for him and more importantly for his friend. 
He celebrated his 21st bday with his district, the sister's made him a cake and he loved his little piƱata we sent him! He also made our traditional bday pancakes with chocolate chips and strawberry jam we always have!!! As sad as he is to leave his mission, we are so excited to see him and hear his stories with his voice and face to face. We are so thankful for the example his is and the wonderful experiences he has had on his mission.
WAY TO GO ELDER CHIZZY!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!

But I will tell you probably the coolest miracle from this week!!! So, I met Jeong a long time ago with Elder Smith and Elder Yamagata and we sat and talked with him and whatever and it was decent... Anyways, at that time, back in april, we set a baptismal date for may and what not and it was good... He just didn't quite make it so we weren't able to go through with it... Do you remember him?? He is the 27 year old.. We have been meeting with him on and off for a long time!! Anyways, we went and ate with him on Friday, and I was on exchanges with Elder Hollingshaus and we just decided that we would just ask him how he is thinking about church and a bunch of stuff like that.. .He seems to really like it and stuff so we ended up talking about baptism and so we set a baptismal date with him which was a miracle!! Haha guess when it is.... July 27th!! The day you and dad will be coming with me to Ilsan ward... How cool would that be?? Anyways, I was a little bit skeptical from Saturday to Sunday cuz I wasn't exactly sure if he would go through with it and what not... Well, he came to church and we met with him after and he had read the Book of Mormon chapter we gave him and then we started talking about the commandments... He has a word of wisdom problem and I knew that it would be tough, but he said that he would try to keep the word of wisdom during the next three weeks so that he could prepare for baptism!!! So cool... It was awesome cuz during the lesson, I just felt like I should promise him that if he tried his best, after he was baptized and received the holy ghost, that the desire to drink alcohol would disappear and he would be able to keep it... And then i just told him that that promise doesn't come from me, but that it comes from the Lord and that since I am a representative of Him, it is coming straight from Him... It was really powerful and it really made me think about how grateful I am to be serving a mission.. The Spirit was so strong and afterwards, he walked up to the 1st counselor in the bishopric and he said that he was going to get baptized on the 27th....... Haha SO COOL!!!! I am soooooooooooo excited for him.... I really really hope that he can do it... I fasted for him and prayed lots and I am just happy about it... I think he can get there... For me, it was just a huge blessing to be able to see how since I have been trying to finish off strong, Heavenly Father gave me this blessing and I can work with him for the remainder of my mission... If he doesn't make it I will be ok... I have learned what I needed to learn about finishing... It is a very seeable blessing that I am incredibly grateful for... I think he can get there though!! super cool!!!! WE had a couple other good lessons as well and yesterday was just one of those days that made me feel like I never want to go home....... I of course want to see you guys, but doing this work brings so much joy and satisfaction it is crazy... I was just sitting there last night, so happy and just grateful to be where I was.... It was really cool:):) 

Monday, June 16, 2014

Elder Chizzys May and June adventures!



May 25

One of the sisters in my District was kind of having a hard time so she asked me for a blessing and quite honestly, I had no idea what she needed or anything... I was just riding the bus on the way out to district meeting and I just kept thinking about what I should bless her with. Then something that you shared with me awhile ago popped into my head. You shared with me about when you were getting read to give Eisley a blessing and how you read in Alma 14 about Alma saying that it was not the will of God that they should save all of those people and how after reading it, it made you think even more about how when we use the priesthood, we truly are just acting in God's name... Pretty cool and then I was able to give her a blessing. I just remember talking a lot about God loving her and how He was willing to bless her if she relied on him... I still don't know exactly what was wrong with her, but I just thought it was cool that I was able to give that blessing... And then afterwards she told me that she had never really asked for a blessing before that so it was just kind of a cool experience... Anyways, you are a great example to me dad and I love you lots... Then somebody at church yesterday asked me if my parents had taught me anything that had affected my life.... Haha weird question.... but they asked for a specific thing that you had taught me and I just told them about your example of being worthy for the priesthood and how you had taught me lots about it!! So yeah, I thought a lot about you this week!!!

June 2
We kind of had a lot of different meeting and stuff so we really didn't have a ton of time to proselyte and what not, but it was good. We were able to work hard the last three days to kind of make up for the first four days... Funny how that happens... When you wanna get stuff done, you just get it done!! We got transfer calls and I will just stay in Ilsan, and train a new zone leader... So just get a new companion. He is korean too so I guess I just get to finish off my mission speaking a bunch of korean so that is cool... He is a little bit older in the mission too so he knows what is going on which will be nice:) His name is Goo Yeong Jin... I have talked to him a couple times and he seems nice enough... I will miss Elder Smith like crazy though, man I love that kid.

So Korea is a very interesting place and there are still some things here that I just cannot understand.... So, as for our apartment, we have no dishwasher or dryer or air conditioning.... Mainly because almost no one in this country has those!!! (Do we live in a civilized country or not???) Haha so we stay cool be the fans that I talked about last summer.... They truly are life savers... For a long time, in Ilsan, I slept on the couch for a long time, and then I found a mattress.... Haha on the side of the road that was really nice so now I sleep on that which is really nice!! (don't freak out... I kind of
.. I kind of cleaned it:)) Haha we also found another couch on the road not to long ago and it is super comfy which is nice:):) Haha other stuff... It is hot... And humid:) Woohoo... For meals... Lately I have been going through a cereal phase... I eat cereal a lot cuz it is so easy... In the morning, I have a protein shake which consists of ice, milk, chocolate protein powder, peanut butter, and bananas.... It is really good:):) Then I have sweetened corn flakes.... Not really frosted flakes but close usually with some granola for lunch... Then I just kind of eat random stuff for dinner... Sometimes pasta, sometimes pizza, sometimes chicken and veggies... Haha anything that is short and easy to make, I make:) I make salads sometimes, but that stuff is expensive!! Milk is way expensive too... So I spend a lot of money to eat my cereal and shakes... Hmm... There are lots of "american" style buffets out here and those are always fun!!! we are going to one today so that will be good:):) They have kimchi with pretty much every meal which is fun... I really do like kimchi!! It is super good and I will miss it.... Most korean food just has random red sauce on it with rice... This week I ate something with fish eggs in it... Kind of strange.... Anyways, grocery stores are pretty much the same... A little different cuz it doesn't have the same food, but pretty much the same.... Our church building is probably the nicest one in korea.... Super super nice and pretty new... At least in our mission. It doesn't have pews like most churches in america, but it is still nice... It is kind of out in the middle of nowhere... But that is ok:) You will see when you come!! We are going to a really cool park today... It is called lake park and it has a really nice man made lake... Not many lakes in korea cuz all of there mountains are actually hills..... Hahahaha kind of funny how that works... Um.... Food in general is just quite expensive and we ride the bus pretty much everywhere so that is fun.... I dunno... anything else you want to know?? There isn't a ton of culture stuff....They are very busy, all the time, even though they really aren't.... That is ok though!! They are nice. I like korea a lot!! It is a nice place:)
June 8
 I say that I am grateful for you and Dad all the time, but the thing I am most grateful for is that you pointed me in the direction that I needed to go.... I read the Book of Mormon for the first time before I was baptized and quite honestly, I don't remember anything from it... Haha I just remember you telling me that I needed to pray about it cuz that is what it says to do.. (Honestly, I didn't even know where it said to do that.... Haha you just told me too!!) I don't remember if you were there our not, but I remember that I kneeled down next to my bed, haha those old bunk beds in the Santaquin house, and I had that little blue book in my hand... I prayed about it and I don't remember a specific feeling, but throughout my whole life, I have felt such a desire to read the Book of Mormon and understand what is in it.... I always felt bad if I missed a day or something back at home and it always bothered me when I didn't feel like I should read it... But I think I just knew that it was true... Obviously coming on my mission has helped me understand the gospel way more, but I am just soo incredibly grateful that you and Dad pointed me in the right way, let me lean on your testimonies until I got mine, and then let me find mine. That is something I am grateful for.

June 15
I am doing really good:):) It was been an interesting week for sure.... I am in this stage of kind of freaking out cuz I have a lot that I want to do, and a lot that I really need to do and I am starting to realize how much time I really don't have.... We had a couple of missionaries come home in our ward yesterday and that was so weird... I didn't talk to them tons, but it was just weird cuz they both used to serve in our mission and so I knew them when they were missionaries and seeing them totally freaked me out... Haha and every time I see other missionaries, or members, they always remind me that I am going home in five weeks!! Haha it is kind of crazy, I don't know if it really will hit me, but I don't really want to go home yet.... I want to keep serving... A lot of missionaries say that there comes a time that it's just your turn to go home and that it feels right... Haha it doesn't feel that way yet!!! Kind of crazy that I can only have five weeks left... This week has been weird that way, but, it has also been really good!! My new companion is great and he works hard and so we have been working really hard.. Contacting a lot and we had some appointments and what not... He works well with the ward too and they like him so I am hoping the ward will be able to turn around:):) It was definitely inspired that he came here and the other elder that came, Elder Black, is really good and they are helping me out a lot... Definitely an answer to my prayers!! I miss Elder Smith like crazy, but it is ok.... LIfe is good and this week was an interesting one!!!

This week there was a guy that Elder Smith found and referred to me that we met with and he has a lot of potential which is really cool!! He came to church yesterday and this week when we meet him, we will probably give him a baptismal date and what not!! Really cool stuff:) His name is Park Yong Soo and he is a super nice guy... Maybe 40 years old and has a lot of english and gospel interest so that is cool:) I am excited about him!!!
Another cool thing about this week is that we were able to go to a baptismal service up in the other area in our zone to see a lady get baptized up there and it was really cool!! She is Filipino and is so nice!! The sister missionaries found her on the street not to long ago and it was just a total miracle that she was baptized!!! But I was able to translate for her from Korean to english and then when people were speaking in English, I translated into korean... Haha quite the experience to say the least!!! Kind of weird that I could actually do that:) It was a good experience though for sure!!! Kind of cool how I can do that:)
. I love going out and just preaching the gospel.... It is such a blessing to be able to tell people all the time that I know this message is true and that Jesus Christ is our Savior.... Being able to bear my testimony everyday is such a great blessing and being able to focus so much on him and his gospel is amazing... I read Isaiah 53 this week and I love that chapter so much... It is in Mosiah too in Ch 14, but it is one of my favorite chapters on the atonement, if not my favorite.... Christ really took upon himself everything that we would ever experience in this life.... And he did it because he loved us... I am so grateful for him and for His wonderful example:)

Monday, April 21, 2014

Easter number TWO in Seoul!!! And happy it's SPRING!




Our cute boy is doing well in Ilsan, Seoul. He has been there a long time and will most likely  finish his mission in this area. He has two companions that he loves a lot and they have a lot of fun and are teaching like crazy! He loves teaching and street contacting and will miss that part of his mission the most. He loves being zone leader and enjoys his missionaries he has stewardship over! He was "super stoked" to find his favorite American snack, Cheezits, and even though they were really expensive he just "couldn't resist!" He's also completely disgusted with his teams (The Jazz and BYU) and says the reason they've done so bad is because they're missing their favorite fan. However, he is thrilled with the HEAT's stats and thinks he'd like to teach LeBron the missionary lessons.  He said on Easter morning he was up really early and watched the sunrise over this little playground and appt out his window. He said he was so grateful for the sun and "The SON" and even though the rest of his day was relatively quiet and his easter pkg didn't even get to him in time, he was so happy to be able to be there in Korea on that day, with Jesus Christ's name on his heart, representing Him as a missionary. So proud of this kid. Happy he's doing so well. In the next week his little sister's mission call will arrive as well... WE LOVE missionaries at this house!!!




Anyways, we went to this appointment with this guy late on Wednesday night and it was kind of weird cuz Elder Smith had only talked to this kid  on the street for like 1 minute but he wanted to meet again... Haha that usually means one of two things. Either they are super prepared, or they want to bash on us... Well, this guy was of the bashing quality and it was a very interesting lesson... Both of my companions are pretty young so they don't understand a ton, which in this case was good, but some of the first things this guy said to us were super rude... He told us that is regrettable and annoying that we serve missions and that we are wasting our time and like all of this stuff... Koreans usually are pretty nice, but this guy was being super rude and he was just attacking us in this kind of smug, super stuck up way.... So we listened to him for a bit and he was just posing every lame excuse for why our church is wrong... Haha he said that we have to believe in Christ to be saved and only through the bible can we believe in him and like all of this stuff... Kind of pathetic things really. Haha if we went by those standards, we would easily qualify for salvation... I am grateful it is a little bit harder than that. Anyways, he asked us how our church was established and this is where most people really start bashing on our church so I kind of took over the lesson and taught him the Restoration through Joseph Smith and it was so powerful. It says all over the place in the scriptures that the Holy Ghost will support you as you teach of truth and the spirit was so strong. It was so strong. I can't remember who said it, but there was a quote by an apostle or prophet that said that the Spirit will give you the words to speak, even in contentious (or some word like that:)) venues... Well, this guy was beating down pretty hard, but I quoted the first vision, and then testified of the reality of that vision and then testified about Joseph Smith and about the truthfulness of our church. I could just feel the Holy Ghost so strong and I knew, that he knew, that what I was saying was true. I told him that no one could take away what I know from me and that I know with a certainty that this message is true... He sat there for a minute, and then told me I should read the Bible more.............. I was not particularly happy about that and I was super sad cuz he denied the Spirit that was there, but it was a great opportunity for me to testify. President Monson talked about courage in his talk in priesthood session and about how we need to stand up for what we believe... So did Elder Holland. But that experience kept coming up in my head during those talks because although I had done that at other times in my mission, it had never had the profound influence it had on me on Wednesday.... It was just really cool and I learned a lot from it. I don't know if that dude will meet again, but he will always be able to remember my testimony..... 
Anyways, that was a cool experience!! I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since that night... Things just keep reminding me of it and I am just grateful I was able to be worthy and able to do those things.... My mission has taught me so much and it is stuff like that experience that I will never forget.... So cool.

This week has been kind of weird because of conference and I have thought a little bit about home this week.... Haha with this being my last conference, thoughts of home pretty easily came up, but the thing that keeps hitting me is that my mission doesn't end and the things I learned here and the person I became doesn't just get left behind in Korea... I also absolutely loved President Uchtdorf's talk.... It was exactly what I needed to hear and I was so grateful for it....... I loved how he said that because we are eternal beings, we are not accustomed to change and that there are really no endings, just everlasting beginnings.... Those were some of my favorite lines in all of conference.... It blew me away how personal it seemed to me and how much I needed that... It made me thing of the next 3 months very differently... I am not working to finish my mission, but really, I am working to start my mission... Whatever life brings, whatever school brings, whatever the next challenge is that lies ahead, that is what I am working towards. Haha my mission may end in a literal sense cuz I have to take off my missionary badge and I don't have to proselyte anymore, but my mission to return to my Heavenly Father, which is the most important mission, is still going on and just that insight by President Uchtdorf was awesome

Anyways, this week was super sick for a lot of reasons but like I said, we got a baptismal date with *****... Did I tell you about him last week?? We talked to him on the street and then last week he came to church... Well, on Tuesday we met him again and it was in the middle of a crazy busy day.... Maybe one of the craziest days on my mission, but anyways, we met him in this little coffee shop and he had so many questions about everything.... We ended up giving him a short explanation of the the Restoration which he loved, and then we started talking about baptism and a little bit more about the priesthood... The week before in Gospel Principles class, I had talked about the priesthood so he had a lot of questions about it and about if he could have it... At one point, after we had talked for a little bit he just said, "So, I need the priesthood!1" Haha and cuz he is money at english everybody could understand and it was really cool.. We went on to explain that we had to be baptized and confirmed a member of the church before we could get the priesthood and he was pretty excited about that!!! So we set a baptismal date for April 27th, right before transfers which is really cool... We also met with him on Thursday and it was an awesome lesson... He asked us about his purpose in life and about where he will go after he dies and all of that stuff... It was really cool to be able to teach about the plan of Salvation and about how we will be able to return to live with God... He understands better than any other people I have met on my mission... He is so prepared and I am so excited for him. He came and watched conference with us as well and he loved it. He said that he received a lot of deep impressions about God and that he learned a lot... And he met a lot of our ward members and spent a full hour talking to just them... We didn't even have to worry about watching him or anything... It has been really cool to teach him that is for sure!! Super big miracle.

As I have served my mission, I have learned a lot about obedience because of how strict mission rules are and stuff like that, and I have seen a lot of not super obedient missionaries.... It is kind of sad to think that not everyone wants to keep the rules exactly, especially because when we keep them, we get so many blessings. It is definitely something I have worked on, but more than that, I just saw that when missionaries, or investigators, or members, keep the commandments, or in a missionaries case, the rules that God sets, they are so much happier. In vs 41 it says "consider the happy state of those that keep the commandments" I love that. I hadn't thought about that scripture before we had taught him either and for some reason it came up in my mind. Definitely a cool little prompting and a good thing for me to realize. Then on Saturday, we were able to meet with a kid that we all talked to on the street last week and he was super prepared!! It was cool. We gave him a book of mormon on the street and he had read some of it before our appointment which was legit!! We talked for a long time about the history and importance of the Book of Mormon, and then we committed him to be baptized on May 25 and he said yes which was awesome!! I hope he can do it and I think he can. As I taught about Joseph Smith though, I got a little emotional, I didn't cry or anything, but I just realized that because a 14 year old boy decided to pray almost 200 years ago, I am hear in Korea.... That blows my mind. I have learned a ton about Joseph Smith on my mission and my testimony of him being a prophet of God is a great blessing in my life and I would never trade that for anything

Love
Elder Chizzy


Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Still "loving it in Seoul!"

It's been awhile since I've updated our sweet missionaries blog. I know it's long, but I wanted him to be able to look back and read it when he gets home. We are planning on going to pick him up in July! We are so excited! It is amazing to see his growth and even though he hasn't had a lot of baptisms or success in that way, he has grown in patience and most definitely spiritually. We are so proud of him and the man he's become. We love every Sunday night when he writes and look forward to his letters and all he teaches us. He is doing great as a zone leader, and will have been in Ilsan after this transfer for seven months,which is a long time, but hopefully there will be miracles in the next 4 months and he can continue to be happy and have the experiences he needs!



 Dinner with the guys in the apartment!
 One of Josh's favorite investigators, Scott.
 A fun ward activity he was in charge of.

 This is Elder Chizzy's ward mission leader, he has come to really love him and they've become really good friends.
 Ice skating on Pday with his zone!

 Huge apartments called The Zenith!

 Packages from home are the best!
 The day the Sisters he went in the MTC with went home. He loves and respects these sisters and Elders. The one on the other end of the Elders was his MTC companion!

 Just hanging out in an elevator!
 Auntie Loreen sent him a gangnam style shirt and a cool beenie! He loves it!


 Some massive shoes being sold on the street. Mostly I  was interested in how worn out his shoes are! Makes me happy. He doesn't want new ones, he wants to wear these all the way out!
 Hiking!

 Elder Chizzy and Smith….with matching hair cuts.
 Zone Leaders and Sister Training Leaders!All in yellow….the sisters idea!
 I love the sweater "Live Strong"….
Hiking Book Han San


Jan 19
Pride is seriously such a terrible thing... It can be pride of anything. Simply putting things before God is pride. It's something I have tried to work on my whole mission, and it is the thing that probably makes me the most sad out of all things.... This week was a pretty bad contacting week too that just had a lot of people that really didn't want to listen and let God into their life. Haha it has just been one of those times that I have had to look inside myself and think about what I need to do better cuz everything has been pretty darn rough.. Haha I feel like I have had this conversation with you a lot cuz it has happened a lot on my mission... This one had been a little bit different... Not just because I am used to it or whatever, but I have found myself wanting to look deeper into things and find what went wrong? Or what made it happen this way... Was it me? Or what does heavenly father want me to learn? Cuz I feel like I have been working as hard, if not harder, than ever and just the new investigators aren't coming and things just aren't going great. Our ward really is excited about the three baptisms, but they don't ever put that excitement or desire into anything and so it just feels like we do the same thing every single day and I can't break out of it... But, the thing that I have been thinking a lot about is how I just can never think I deserve things. Haha I can't think that because everyone else is getting these baptisms, that it is my turn cuz that isn't the way it goes... Seeing those things can bless my life, but Heavenly Father knows me better than I know me, and He knows exactly what I need to go through. It makes me sad because I wish I could help these people, but I just have thought that Heavenly Father needs me to learn in a different way.. If that is the case, I just have to keep going right?? Haha never giving up and  pushing back against all the discouragment and what not.. It is hard, but I have dealt with it my whole mission and it has been hard to push it back, but I have changed and become better. This situation is no different and I just gotta keep going!!


I had a couple really good studies this week... I really liked Enos... I read it and I noticed the same things that I normally did... Like how hard he prayed and how much is faith grew, but as I read towards the end, I started realizing that after the Lord promised him that the record that he was keeping (the plates of nephi) would be preserved, that the Lord said that it would be in His timing... That got me thinking about how we have to accept the Lord's timing in all things and that we just need to follow His commandments. Cuz the Lord told Enos to declare unto the people repentance and baptism and the gospel and Enos went out and did it. The Lord has promised us that we can have eternal life if we follow His commandments. He has promised us His Spirit if we keep our covenants. We just have to serve him and do his work and then, we can have the assuarance that Enos has at the end of his book. I love how he talks in those two verses. Read the last two verses in Enos:) They are awesome and I want to be able to hear that when I stand in front of God at the judgement day... Pretty cool:)


Feb 2
Anyways, this week was kind of a weird one cuz of the holiday...Well, this week was the Chinese New year and it is a really big holiday in Korea! So we had a big missionary meeting on Thursday and I had to clean the rest of the weekend... Kind of boring right????? The reason we had to do that is cuz all of the koreans here leave to their hometowns and no one actually is from the area I live in. So they all go down south to see their families... Haha they eat a big breakfast and this stuff call rice cake soup... When you eat it, you turn one year older!! kind of crazy right?? Haha and then, all the kids bow to their elders? (haha old people) and the old people give them money!! Sounds like fun right?? Maybe you should do that to mom and she will give you some money!Haha yeah it is different then it sounds, but it is pretty good:) Rice cake is the best translation for it... It is just kinda weird stuff!! I have ate a lot of it... Koreans eat tons of rice cake stuff.... It is called ė–” (pronounced like duck, the animal) haha it is intersting that is for sure!! And Bruno Mars performed!? Darn... Missed the best super bowl ever... Haha oh well. I am excited to see what kind of music is out when I get home!! That will be kind of a fun thing.. Haha anyways, that is the story for the week We didn't have p-day on monday which is always kind of weird, but we made it through and still worked hard. Tuesday we found a new investigator, Danny, and he is pretty cool. I met him on the street about a week ago and he lived in Canada for awhile. He knew Winnepeg even which was cool! most koreans don't know Winnepeg but he knew and we talked about it for a little bit. He is pretty good at english but we mostly speak in korean which is fun. We were able to teach him the first lesson and focus a lot on God and the Book of Mormon which was good. When I teach, I learn so much. It's always interesting for me to get into teaching and then take a step back and realize what I am talking about. It teaches me a lot and this time it really made me think about our Heavenly Father and how much He loves us and how much I have learned about Him while I have been on my mission. He is there and He will always help us if we just trust Him and His plan for us. We talked about that a little bit and we were also able to talk a little bit about the Book of Mormon which is always good!! Then on Wednesday, we did a big zone contacting acitvity in our area which was a lot of fun. We split up with people in different districts and different subway stations in our area and contacted together for about 2 hours and then we ate dinner together... It was a lot of fun!! I have tried really hard to be creative this transfer with what we have been doing and how we do stuff with the zone and that activity went pretty well. I pretty much planned it all by myself and it was a lot of fun... Good times that is for sure!! I enjoy planning things and kind of leading them out so that was a lot of fun:) Everybody seemed to like it and it was pretty effective so I was happy!! Then on Thursday we had our mission conference and it was kind of weird!! All of the sisters I came to korea with are going home this next week!! Kind of insane... I can't believe it has already been that long cuz it seriously feels like it was yesterday that I was in the MTC.... so to see them go home it is pretty weird!! I will have to send you the picture with everybody that I came to korea with... It has gotten smaller that is for sure!!! But seeing them was really good and also hearing from President was good!! He talked about how the work is being hastened and just how we have to step up to the plate and do the work. Our mission baptismal number has been going up which is good!! Throughout the mission we have been averaging 4 baptisms every week which is a lot better than in the past so I am excited about that... Hopefully one can come this way!! 

Feb 16
I went into Seoul on Tuesday for our Mission Leadership Council which was fun. That is probably my favorite meeting I get to go to. Sister Christensen always makes good food and I love hearing from President on a pretty personal level. But that night we had to prepare our training and stuff so we were pretty busy all day long which made it so we couldn't talk to anyone really... The focus for the month is revelation through church attendance which is a good focus, just a little bit harder to train on cuz out of the 10 months that I have trained as a zone leader, this is the 3rd time we have trained on church attendance... So we decided to switch it up a bit. We talked more about how through church we can help investigators develop a personal relationship with God and get closer to him... It was kind of an interesting spin... We focused a lot on our personal relationship with God too and I thought it was a really good training. Maybe the best one that I have given. Things were a little bit different and the Spirit was really strong. At the end, I shared that quote from Elder holland that you shared with me and talked a little bit about it and it was really good. I gave all the missionaries a copy and told them to hang it up and look at it everyday. It has helped me out a lot and it is super cool. I bore my testimony about my mission and about the work we are doing and it was just cool. Everybody said it was really good! The AP's were there cuz we went on exchanges that night and they liked it a lot too. I am grateful that I can be in a position that allows me to do stuff like that... Not cuz I want to be higher than people, but because while I prepare those and really try to discern what our zone needs, I learn so much. It has been a huge blessing. After that, I went back to Seoul with Elder Sol, the AP, and we went on exchanges which were fun. We talked a lot about having a spiritual vision of what we want to accomplish and how if we create that vision, and we have something to work toward, it helps us move towards that direction and be better people. Pretty cool. Then on Friday we had a really cool experience. We have a family that the Sisters gave to us a while back that we are teaching... (the one that the daughter was already baptized in... I told you about them right?) But the Dad is in the middle of deciding whether or not to get baptized and he is really close. He has been reading the Book of Mormon everyday and he is coming to church and doing all the right things, but he just can't give up smoking and stuff... Hard... so we were going to give him a baptismal date and what not, but as we talked, it kind of felt weird... Just like there was kind of a wall... There were a lot of distractions during the lesson and stuff... They had asked us about 1 Nephi 8 and about the tree of life so we taught them the gospel of Jesus Christ through that and it was good, just a lot of weird tangents and stuff... But towards the end when we would normally commit them to baptism, it just didn't feel right... I don't know if elder rhodes felt it but I did! Haha but it lead up to us talking about priesthood blessings and we ended up giving him a priesthood blessing on the spot!! It was really cool... The spirit was super strong and I definitely felt like the spirit was just straight pushing him to the right direction... It was so powerful and after the blessing, we were just sitting there and it was almost tangible... Super cool to be able to be apart of that experience. I am grateful that I am worthy to use the priesthood and able to feel the Spirit in that way...

Feb 23
We talked to 260 people this week and made a ton of lessons with people on the street. It felt good to talk to that many people. I think part of the problem about last week is that I was so busy with other stuff that didn't have a ton of relevance to our area and that was kind of stressful and just made me feel like we weren't getting anything done... But this week was better. It was still somewhat frustrating cuz we just could not figure out why people were meeting with us, but on Friday we finally met with somebody, on Saturday we had a guy randomnly call us and say he wanted to meet, (he is going to college next week so we won't be able to continually meet with him but it was still a meeting and a cool little miracle) and on Sunday night we were able to meet a guy from Nepal that I talked to on the street this week... He was really bad at korean and not much better at english so that was really hard, but he was such a nice guy. He reminded me a lot of Januario in just how he was just happy to be alive. Haha such a nice guy.. Luckily they have a BOM in Nepalese so we will be able to give that to him and it will be good... Hopefully we will be able to figure out a way to teach him... He is Hindu too so that is interesting!! It has been fun to meetin so many diverse people... A lot of fun!! But, the coolest part of the week was something that we didn't even do... The Sister's were riding a bus last week and this guy came up and introduced himself to them and asked where our church was and if he could have there number and he gave them his number and all that stuff... Well, The Sister's referred him to us and I called him on like Monday or Tuesday and he said lets talk later which usually means never... Haha but randomnly on Saturday he shows up to english class and says he will come to church on Sunday!! Well, crazy enough, he comes to church on Sunday and we were able to meet with him a little bit and talk about what we do as missionaries and see what kind of interest he has... Haha he has just straight church interest which is pretty rare and it makes me excited. He doesn't have religion and he doesn't believe in God but he heard so many good things about our church and so the only church he has interest in is our church!! Really cool and he really liked all three hours of church... He was making comments in class and everything so it was really cool... So the week was a really long week of contacting followed by some really cool miracles at the end of the week that I was super grateful for... We also talked with the bishop about what is going on in our ward with less actives and they are starting a program where each auxillary will make a list of names of less actives and each week they will give them to us to go and visit and confirm for them... The cool thing is that if we are able tofind them, we can include the members in helping us reactivate them and work with them... It seems like a really good system and it is cool to see our ward getting into the spirit of missionary work. I was excited for that!! But yeah, this week was pretty all around good. Another fun thing was that we were able to kick in a door... Haha kind of random right!? Well, on Friday morning, Elder Hendershot was taking a shower and we heard the shower stop and stuff and then he tried opening the door and it was stuck!! haha it wouldn't open so we tried to mess with it a little bit and nothin happened... So we resorted to the last thing we knew how to do... Just kick in the door!! Haha so me and Elder Smith just kicked in the door and it was awesome!! Haha I always wanted to do that:) It was a lot of fun:) Haha it is just those little things that I think are fun:) It was a good week!!It has been absolutely flying by.... I can't believe it!!! On friday or something like that, I have been on my mission for 19 months!!! That is seriously a long time... Time flies... Can't believe it!

I do love it... I found another quote this week that was super cool about work!! And it really explains well what I have come to think success is... "Let us realize that the privilidge to work is a gift, that the power to work is a blessing, that love of work is success." In terms of numbers or anything like that, my mission really wouldn't be viewed as successful.... Haha I haven't had lots of baptisms or reactivated a ton of less actives or anything like that, but I have learned how to love this work. I love it and I love being a missionary. I love working with missionaries to help them see that they can reach higher and find those privilidges... I love studying and contacting and all that stuff... It is going to be hard to leave that is for sure cuz I really do love it. That is how I know that all that I have done, is ok with the Lord:) 

I studied a lot about the law of consecration cuz I didn't know a ton about it and actually learned a lot. There is a lot of really cool stuff about it in D&C especially in Section 78... It talks a lot about sacrifice and how sacrifice brings blessings... The law of consecration, especially at that time, was a very temporal law dealing with giving all that the saints had and making everyone equal, but the amazing thing is that in the temple, and really just as members of the church, we kind of take upon the law of consecration as a spiritual law as well.. It was always spiritual and given to benefit the saints in a very spiritual way, but the Lord has asked us to sacrifice our time, talents and means to the church so that we can build up His kingdom on this earth... As I thought about that, I thought a lot about what I am doing as a missionary right now.. It is definitely a wonderful blessing that the Lord has given me cuz for two years, I get to live the law of consecration to the fullest.... The Lord had to take away the Law of Consecration for a time cuz the saints weren't spiritually or temporally ready for such a law, so He instituted the Law of Tithing, but I really like the fact that He as provided a time for me to live, to some extent, the Law of Consecration... I think that is way missions bring so many blessings, especially if we give everything we have. I read the fourth missionary again this morning and that stuck out to me a lot... We just have to give everything back to the one that gave us everything and as we do that, we are blessed in so many ways!! The other thing I realized is that happiness, is a present thing. We can't be happy if we are always looking forward and I think that is why I have found so much happiness in missionary work. It isn't always super easy to be happy all the time, but I have found happiness in small things, and even though there are things I look forward too (seeing all of you, college, houseboat, sports, etc.) I am happy because I am trying to live in the moment and do my best everyday!! 


March 9
Tuesday, we had our Mission Leadership Council and it was really good... one of the best ones that I have been too... We talked a lot about inviting and helping people commit to things and what not and I got a lot of really good ideas from it... Our zone has been struggling with quite a few things... But I learned some stuff that I really needed.... so me and Elder Rhodes were kind of talking about what we could train on and Elder Rhodes was talking about faith and some other stuff, but I really felt like we just needed to train on skill related things like teaching street lessons and what not... Our zone has just been kind of dead and so I wanted to do something that would pump people up!!! So, that is what we ended up doing... Haha we did a kind of fun training about how to get street lessons( A street lesson is a contact on the street that you teach a principle and you set a return appointment with a specific place and then get the persons phone number...) So it is something that I have always been decently good at and everyone always asks me questions about it so we decided to focus on that a lot and to set a goal of getting 105 of them in our zone a week, which is 1 street lesson per companionship per day!! Haha I thought it was a pretty good idea and it worked out pretty well actually.... The training was fun, (President was there and he said it was really good) and I think it actually really got people excited!! We told everyone that we wanted them to try new ways to get street lessons and to work on seeing the miracles everyday that come from them!! Later on when we were able to sit down with each of the companionships, we talked about boldness and how we have to be bold when we invite people.... The thing that probably stuck out to me most during those trainings was how love is always the driving force behind boldness... Love is so crucial and really when it comes down to it, love leads to miracles.... We do this work because we love people and it was really cool to see that and just be able to train... ... There is a song on the tarzan soundtrack called Son of Man and it says, "In learning you will teach, and in teaching you will learn." I think that is so true.... I learn sooooooo much when I teach. I often times kind of surprise myself when I teach cuz i don't even realize some of the things I am saying. I think that is super important that we teach with the spirit cuz then it can teach us too....
We had an english class party this week on Saturday which was fun... Life is good with that and what else.... Hmm..... Oh yesterday I had a really cool experience... We were at home after church and we had decided that we were just going to study, (it was ward conference and we were in charge of cleaning up everything for some reason so we didn't get home until like four thirty and then we ate dinner) but as I sat down to study, I felt like maybe we should go out and talk to people... I just kind of shrugged it off, and tried to keep studying but then I felt like we should really go out... I tried to study one more time and it hit me pretty hard that we needed to go out... So I said a quick prayer to confirm what I was feeling and it was right and so we went out... We walked about 30 minutes down to this place that we contact at and we started to talk to people... We only had about 30 minutes before we had to come back home, but we talked to everybody... And seriously no one wanted to talk.. I still felt like there was a reason we went down there though... So with like five minutes before we went home, I talked to this last guy and he was super nice. He was 20 and just had a different light about him kind of. He wasn't rude and actually wanted to talk. So we talked about the gospel a little bit and I didn't get to talk to him for super long, but I got his number and he said he could meet next saturday.... That isn't any crazy result, but after I stopped talking to him, I just said a little prayer of gratitude and just felt the spirit very strongly telling me that what I was doing was right and that Heavenly Father was grateful that I followed that prompting... I dunno if he will turn into an investigator, but it was a really cool experience that just taught me to never push away those prompting... Really cool!!

March16:
This week we got a call from this guy in another stake saying that he needed us to go visit a Pakistani refugee family that needed our help... I guess they were baptized in Pakistan and because of that, they were persecuted a lot and were driven out of pakistan... so we ended up meeting this family, and they are seriously soooooo cool!!! Haha there is eight of them and they are so nice... They don't have really anything. They were kind of ruined by the korean government and have a ton of issues with visa's and what not, so none of them have jobs right now and it is just kind of a huge mess.... So they were wondering if there was anything the church welfare system could do, and so the one member told us to get them to talk to the bishop and what not... so me and Elder rhodes went and visited them on tuesday and it was alright!! The dad is super stressed about everything (obviously he has every reason to be... He is in like 50,000 dollars in debt and doesn't have a house and is just kind of surving on nothing...) but the family turned out to be amazing.... Most of them were baptized about 12 years ago, and they only were able to attend for about a year, but they are super good Christians and went to other church's and stuff, but they could just never find our church again... So we invited them to come and they came yesterday and loved it!! It was interesting to me to see the difference that I saw in them when they came to church... They just had more light and they were happier and just funny!! They are pretty good at english, especially the daughter... she is 22 and amazing at english and decent at korean which is cool... The one son and his wife have three little kids that are sooo cute and fun to play with and they are just a sick family... so during sunday school, we met with the bishop and translated for them and what not and the bishop said that he could try and help them find a job and all of that stuff, and then we had to translate during sacrament meeting which was an interesting experience.... Haha they are funny and cuz there are eight of them, all of the missionaries that have been on their missions for awhile had to translate!! Kind of fun, then that night, we went and visited them again, and they fed us.... I felt bad cuz they don't have much, but they were so stubborn about it!! They really wanted to feed us traditional pakastani food and it was sooooooo good!! haha it was just this flat bread stuff that you dip in curry and eat potatoes and chicked with it. It was seriously amazing and I was so grateful to them... The mom doesn't speak english or korean so we learned the word for thank you in Ordoo, the language they speak, and told her that and she loved it... It was a really cool experience.. We are going to be able to teach them the lessons hopefully this week and they said they will keep coming to church... We hope as they learn more about the commandments and live by them, they will be presented by opportunities to work and find resources for income and what not... It was just cool to see how a family that is in dire circumstances, could still be so happy and full of life. I learned a lot from that and I was grateful for it!! 


Monday, December 30, 2013

Christmas Number 2!


Our cute Korean missionary spent his second Christmas on his mission. He enjoyed it and although he missed home, he felt good about focusing on missionary work and made some lasting memories with his companion and zone. It was wonderful to talk to him on Christmas day and hear his cute laugh and voice. We found out his release date is July 25. Still not sure if we will go pick him up or just have the gigantic airport party!!! Either way, we anticipate it very much!!!
 
 Caroling with his zone!
 One of the pkgs we sent was treats and stockings for his whole appt, 6 Elders. We also sent him an advent calendar (little bags to open every day of December) and I think his most favorite was ornaments with pictures of family and friends with a letter on the back for him to put on his little tree.He LOVED those and I appreciate all who wrote them for him!


 Here is our ornament of our cute missionary!
 New companions!!
 On the 21st advent day he got chocolate covered popcorn.., his favorite!
 Santa even shows up in Seoul!
 Right before his most recent transfer

 Christmas came!! He was happy with his BYU beenie, picture book of family and mostly his yearbook of his mission this past year.

 These are the "imogi" pants (apparently super comfy and quiet funny!) at their Christmas party they did a funny dance skit thing and according to Elder Chizzy, it was EPIC!!! Glad they have so much fun!!
 A rare opportunity to have dinner at a members home. They mostly eat out or members bring food to them, he loves it when they get invited to a home!



December 8
My week..... Well, it was really busy, but with just kind of random things... We only had like one sit down lesson all week with a guy  on Friday... He was a pretty cool 24 year old that Elder Anderson found on the street and we were just able to teach a little bit about what we do as missionaries and he liked that. He doesn't have much religion so it is always fun to teach with people like that... He is korean by the way:) Haha don't let the name woody fool ya... Anyways, it really wasn't going anywhere and I was kind of worried about what was going to happen and I just remember praying a quick prayer and asking what I should do and it was farely similar to the answer you got to your prayer. Be patient, and just yield to the spirit. So I did and it all worked out. Hopefully we can meet with him again this week. Anyways, the rest of the week was very busy with a lot of stuff with my zone... Kind of insane quite honestly. Tuesday, we went down to Seoul for our Mission Leadership Council and it was really good. Our mission focus for this month is the Book of Mormon and it's converting power and I really liked it. I got to play the piano in that meeting which was pretty cool too... Haha there was a NY times newspaper reporter there trying to learn more about the role of sisters and what not but the photographer dude came and took pictures while I was playing the piano and it was a lot of pressure! Especially cuz it was with a song that I am not the best at, "Lead Kindly Light" But I pulled it together and it was aight:) Haha another cool thing about the meeting though was that we got to watch this thing by Pentatonics, an acepella singing group... They sang Little Drummer Boy and it wa really cool... I really hadn't ever actually listened to the words of that song before but we watched it, and then President Christensen talked a little bit about it... He talked about how the little drummer boy really says he has nothing to give so he just goes unto Christ and gives of himself, of his talents, and of his time. It says in the song, "I played my drum for him" which is like giving of ourselves, but my favorite part was the line, "Then he smiled at me," Talking about Christ. Christ just wants us to give of ourselves to Him and what a better time for us to do that than during Christmas. That really left a deep impression on me during the rest of the week. I shared it with my zone on Wednesday at our zone training meeting and I thought about it a lot... Lately, we just haven't been having the success that I wish we could have and things have been hard... It has been hard to get people to focus on the work and what not... There have been difficulties in the zone, but, the Lord doesn't ask us to be perfect, He just asks us to give of ourselves and then He will smile back at us... I loved that and it brought a lot of comfort to me for sure... Then from Wednesday to Friday, I went on exchanges to another area with, one of our district leaders, who has been having a difficult time with his companion and what not... We were able to go up and do some really good work and it was good for him for sure... I think it helped him while I was up there and he seemed to learn some stuff, and I did too. Then last night, he called me and asked him to give him a blessing today so since we are going to all get together as a zone, it was perfect

December 15
This week has definitely been an interesting one... For some reason, as the weather has gotten colder, people have too!! And it has been hard to keep a happy, optimistic attitude the whole time!! But we have found some good things and we talked to a lot of people this week. On Tuesday, it was snowing pretty hard and we decided to go out anyway and contact people on the street!! For about 3 hours we could barely see in front of us it was snowing so hard!! Haha but we still talked to like 20 people and got a couple of numbers and met some nice people... The snow kind of made me feel at home and comfortable, but more than that, I was just grateful that we kept working and didn't just take it as an excuse to not go out and work cuz it would have been really easy to do so... Then that night, we had our only lesson of the whole week with a Japanese dude that we met on the street and new about mormons... We met him and just talked a lot about what we do as missionaries and about the organization of the church... I don't know how much real interest he had because he was Buddhist and just kind of wanted to know why we were here and any time we talked about Christ, he just tried to change the subject... But we tried and it was interesting meeting a dude from Japan!!! This week has been a hard one with appt. and stuff though... All the students right now are in the middle of testing season and they are all stressed out. Students in korea study an absurd amount. Some go to school until 5 and then go to an academy until 10.... They just study all day. Really competitive here in korea which is a little bit different from home.. But a lot of times, students are the most interested in hearing about Christ so I think since all of them are taking tests, it has slowed down a little bit.. People are interesting hear in Korea!! But we just talked to like 182 people this week and tried to do everything we could to still spread the gospel. The best part about the week was that we caroled with our zone last night and it was super awesome!! I will have to show you a picture of it cuz it was super great. We had one of the Elder's dressed up in a Santa suit conducting and we just all sang american songs, hymns, and then some in korean. We got a lot of people to stop and we just handed out Book of Mormon's and it was really good. I really enjoyed it. It is weird for me to be where I am at now cuz I realize how much work it is to put something like that together. When I was younger, I just kind of went and everything was great, but I was the one that kind of put everything together and ran the show so it was a lot of work and I am glad it worked out! We will probably do it again this week which I am looking forward too... Silent night has been a song that has really stuck out to me this winter... I think about how we sing that at the forgotten carols and I love that part... It just emphasizes so well the spirit of Christmas and I love it... Christ is our Savior and He came here for us. I know that is true... I have met a lot of people that studied abroad in Canada and a lot of them don't know where Winnipeg is... Hahahaha I always tell them that you are from there and they don't know. Most of the time they just know Vancouver and Toronto which is kind of funny... There are a lot of koreans up there which is pretty cool!!! 

December 22
Missionary age is a weird thing that is for sure... I hope I can help people out:) My week was really really good!! We had a pretty successful week. My comp is doing well. We get a long and we both want to work hard which is nice. I don't have to worry about him or anything cuz he is even older in the mission than me which is nice. Just not having to worry about all that training stuff makes it easier to focus on the people we are teaching and on just being a zone leader. I have enjoyed it so far... We had a couple really cool miracles this week with Scott actually... I called him on Tuesday night and found out that he had been fired from his job which was his whole life... He worked from like 8 in the morning to like 10 at night and never had time to come to church cuz all he did was work... Kind of a terrible sounding job but cuz he was fired, he really was pretty depressed and needed help so we went out and got hot chocolate with him on Thursday night... There he just kind of opened up to us about some stuff and we just kind of sat there and listened to his concerns and what not... It was kind of cool to see how what he was talking about led directly into something that we could testify would bless his life... So we ended up talking a little bit about the atonement and about the Book of Mormon. I shared Alma 7:11-13 which is my favorite scripture on the atonement  by far... I love it so much.. But it hit Scott so hard. He thought the words talked right to him. So from that time on, we just always taught with the Book of Mormon and he was just talking about how much he needs God and how he needs a sturdy foundation and all this different stuff and it was just perfect... And then he brought up coffee and alchohol and that stuff and we were able to make kind of a plan for him to stop those things and we taught some of the stuff from the Law of Chastity and he accepted all of that stuff.. He is 28 so he is hit with a lot of those things everyday, but he said he would keep it all and that he would try his best to keep the word of wisdom... So we set a date for January 18th for him to stop all of that stuff and be baptized.. He is super committed and doing awesome.. We met him the next day, and he read almost all of 1 Nephi which was amazing, and then he prayed a lot and got a job interview which made him believe in God even more.. It was really cool to see how God would do something like that. Humble him by losing his job to the point that Scott realized he needed the gospel, and then as he started making the necessary steps towards becoming closer to God, God blessed him with success... Really cool!! Scott ended up coming to church yesterday too and loved it. He has no background in church but he loved it. he said 3 hours was kind of long, but he soaked it all up and wanted to learn more. He wanted an english book of mormon too (he studied in the UK for awhile and is really fly at english) and he said he will keep reading it. It was a super big miracle and one that I am incredibly grateful for!! Super cool to see someone progress like that and see his life change... One thing I have thought a lot about this week, was just how sometimes, as we go through our trials, we feel alone. We feel like we are just kind of floating... I have felt like that for a little bit... Seeing all the people me and Elder Anderson taught just fall off the face of the earth was way hard and just nothing was going on... But this week, Scott popped up, David at least answered his phone, and the other kid that had a baptismal date answered his phone too... For me, I was wondering why all of that happened the way it did and what not... Then I was reading a talk from President Monson in the Relief Society conference in the Ensign and in the third or fourth to last paragraph he talked about how one day, with retrospect, as we look back on our trials, we will realize that we weren't alone, and that Heavenly Father and the Lord were with us every step of the way.. We just can't always realize it... I thought that was sooo cool and it hit me super hard!! I studied about that quite a bit and it made a big impact on me just realizing how perfectly they know us because of what the Lord did for us in suffering for our sins and dying for us. Really amazing and it was something I was really grateful to learn!!!



December 29
It sounds like your Christmas was a good one!! Everyone sounds happy and I'm glad that Santa came and what not... Haha it is weird to think that that was my second christmas away from home... I won't lie and say that I wish I would be away another one cuz that isn't true!! Haha I can't wait for next Christmas... But this Christmas I was really just able to focus on Christ and just give my time and talents to him... That was a blessing and one that I will probably remember for the rest of my life.... The best part about it all was finding A Little Drummer Boy (the song) on Christmas eve and being able to listen to that all day cuz that really was the theme of my Christmas and it was really good. I just have to give my all and He will smile back at me. I love that message and found a lot of comfort and happiness in it.
Well the rest of the week really wasn't that eventful or anything like that... The best part of the weekend was Saturday for sure.. We were able to pick up a new investigator straight of the street which was good and then we met this super weird dude from New York that bought us sushi, (yeah I ate it all... Still don't know exactly how I felt about it...) and he was a goofball. He said that because we were only 21, we couldn't persuade people to believe and that cuz we didn't have any experience, it wasn't effective... It was interesting for me to take a step back and realize that in a sense, that is very true. But our job as missionaries isn't to just persuade other people, it is to inform them about the truth and then they have their agency to choose. The Spirit is the persuader and I am super grateful I have been able to feel the Spirit's influence in a lot of different ways on my mission. Then we went with Scott to another ward's baptism which was really good. There weren't lots of people there and it was just kind of a discreet service, but the Spirit was there and it was nice to see someone get baptized. I sure hope that I get to actually have my own baptism while I am still out here, but I really have come to grips with the fact that if I don't, it will truly be ok and that because I am giving my all, Christ really will smile back at me and say "Well done, my good and faithful servant." That is my goal and I won't give up until the end!! But Scott really liked the baptismal service and even though he didn't come to church the next day, it was alright. At least he got to see that service and feel the spirit and see someone else get baptized!
Then on Sunday, I was just playing the piano, (I need the practice!! Haha I love those songs but I will definitely have to work on them a little bit:)) and one of our members walked in and said that we needed to sing with him during sacrament meeting... Haha kind of random but we sang Count your Many Blessings, (kind of a weird version at that) and it was aight!! Haha a lot of people in my house right now have colds so it was kind of hard for them to sing, but I thought it went alright for not having much practice!!! We get dragged into a lot of stuff but it's all good. Haha we are just kind of the multi-use tool for members. We do whatever they want us to pretty much..